When Dominick Birdies and his schizophrenic twin Thomas were in the public library, Thomas cut off his hand as a sacrifice. Thomas, who was very active but paranoid about politics, said he did it to draw attention to America’s unnecessary war in the Middle East. However, Dominick felt that the whole situation was his fault. Was myself I held responsible?for having tunes out all that babble about Islam and Armageddon, for not having called the doctors and bugged them about his medication… That Sunday at Friendlily, he’d ordered only a glass of water. I’m casting,” he’s said, and I’d purposely asked nothing, ignored those dirty hands of his. (4) Even though Dominick couldn’t have done anything directly to prevent Thomas’ “sacrifice,” he still held himself responsible. Not only that, but Dominick didn’t forgive himself for a very long time. This shows Dominion’s need and Inability to forgive himself In a situation that was out of his control. After Thomas and Dominion’s mother died, things weren’t going too well for either brother. Dominick, though perfectly sane, felt guilty for not being mentally ill like his brother.

When you’re the sane brother of a schizophrenic identical twin, the rocky thing about saving yourself is the blood it leaves on your hands?the little inconvenience of the look-alike corpse at your feet… Take it from a godless insomniac. Take It from the uncanny twin?the guy who beat the biochemical rap. (45) Dominick always felt sorry for Thomas, but he also felt partially guilty for not getting the disease. However, Dominick never realized that the situation was out of his control. This shows Dominion’s unwillingness to forgive himself and rid his guilt.

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Before the library incident, Thomas had been living in Settle, a minimum-security institute for mentally handicapped individuals. The authorities had found Thomas as a potential risk to injure himself or others, so they placed him in maximum-security Hatch Forensic Institute. Of course, Dominick felt that the placing of Thomas at Hatch was his fault. Dominick had to argue his case to his girlfriend Joy. Came up with all kinds of arguments to give her?all kinds of reasons why I had to keep running interference for Thomas. I know you need to be taken car of, Joy, but guys kill each other in places like Hatch.

He never could defend himself. It’d be like whoring a rabbit to the wolves. It’s different when you’re a twin, Joy. It’s complicated. (123) Hatch was not as dangerous of a place at Dominick made it out to De. However, Dominick still nine enamels responsible Tort whenever napped to Thomas there. Dominick couldn’t realize that some things were out of his authority and control. This shows Dominion’s inability to forgive himself for having Thomas end up at Hatch rather than Settle. Earlier in life, Dominick had been married too woman named Odessa. Dominick and Odessa had one child whom was named Angela. However, after three months,

Angela died in her sleep. This had tremendous effects emotionally on Odessa and Dominick. This also affected their marriage. After a year, when Odessa was taking a vacation in Italy, Dominick got a vasectomy. When Odessa got back, and during sex, Dominick informed her of this. Told her about the vasectomy. She stopped crying and, for a minute or more, everything was still. Then she started punching me ?flailing away at my shoulders and my face. One shot even landed against my windpipe… Let was a kind of temporary insanity, I guess. Desk’s the nonviolent type… She had wanted another kid, she said. 14) Though Dominick was wrong to get the vasectomy in the first place, it was what happened in the next few weeks that caused problems. Dominick, who still felt a little responsible and guilty for Angel’s death, wouldn’t forgive himself for getting the operation. It was actually Dominion’s prolonged response to Desk’s anger that ended their relationship, not the operation itself. When in therapy with DRP. Patella, Dominick discussed many memories and situations from his childhood. Dominick was led to believe that he was helping his brother, but in reality, the therapy was for his own peace of mind.

Atone session, Dominick brought up his mom Concertina and his step-father Ray along with Thomas. “And then the doctors have to slap this guilt trip on her on top of it? It wasn’t fair! ” “Dominick, nothing about your brother’s illness if fair. ‘ If you look for fairness when it comes to schizophrenia, it will be a futile search… And I’m certainly not trying to place guilt on anyone. (261) Dominick expressed his anger by saying his mother didn’t deserve to be partially blamed for Thomas’ illness. However, the underlying foundation of Dominion’s fuming was that he still was feeling partly guilty for not avian schizophrenia.

This, again, shows Dominion’s unwillingness to forgive himself. Later in the therapy session, the real root of Dominion’s rage came out. “Other people go to the library and get BOOKS, right?.. But not my STUPID BUCKING GASOHOL BROTHER! Not HIM! He goes to the library and cuts his bucking hand off for Jesus… He’s my curse. My anchor… He is my whole life! My bucking, bucked-up brother… ‘ go to the convenience store and I put a gallon of milk on the counter and this clerk… He’s Just staring at me like… Like I’m… ” “Like you were what? ” “Like I’m him! Thomas. Which ‘… Which I probably will be before I’m through.

I mean, we’re twins, right? It’s going to happen eventually, isn’t it? ” (270-271) Dominick was very upset with his brother, but again, the underlying cause that came out at the end was because he didn’t get schizophrenia. Dominick knew that he wouldn’t get the disease way before the session, but his guilt still led him to ask DRP. Patella if he would. At the end of the session, DRP. Patella provided some helpful insight to Dominick. “l learned that there are two young men lost in the woods. Not one. Two. I may never find one of the young men. He has been gone so long… But as for the other, I may nave netter luck.

I en toner young man may De calling me (2/5). ” DRP. Patella realize that Dominick was too caught up in his assumed moral responsibility to his brother and his guilt to actually run his own life. One summer, after returning from college, Dominick and Thomas got a Job with the city that included mowing lawns, cleaning parks, and general maintenance. Ralph Tidewater, a former classmate, also worked on the crew, along with Leo Blood, Dominion’s best friend. Ralph gave Dominick some marijuana that Dominick and Leo smoked while fishing. The cops picked up Leo and Dominick and agreed to let them go if they revealed who they bought the weed from.

Leo admitted it was Ralph, but stretched the truth while doing it. Though Leo felt no sympathy, Dominick felt extremely guilty. You can’t swim away your sins, I learned that much. I came out of the pond feeling Just as dirty as when I’d gone in. I remember standing there on the shore, naked still, panting like a bastard. Just looking at my reflection in the water… My conclusion? That I was a son off bitchy… Guilty. I felt guilty as sin. (382-383) Dominick was right to feel guilty for what he had done. However, the guilt stuck with him until years later when he asked Ralph to forgive him.

Dominick didn’t forgive himself, so he always carried the burden of knowing that he sent Ralph to Jail. When recalling this incident with DRP. Patella in therapy, she offered some very philosophical advice. “The point is this: that the stream of memory may lead you to the river of understanding. And understanding, in turn, may be a tributary to the river of forgiveness. Perhaps, Dominick, you have yet to emerge fully from the pond where you swam that morning so long ago. And perhaps, when you do, you will o longer look into the water and see the reflection of a son off bitchy. (385) This was DRP. Patella’s way of telling Dominick that first, he must understand what happened in the past. After that, he will find it easier to forgive himself for what he had done. After a certain amount of time at Hatch, Thomas was able to get a hearing that would decide whether he was to be kept at Hatch returned to Settle. Dominick, being Thomas’ closest relative and friend, had the weight of the hearing on his shoulders. However, the day before, when Dominick was finishing a painting Job, he fell off a adder from the third story and ended up in the hospital.

When he came to full consciousness, Dominick was primarily concerned with how his brother’s trial went. “Saturday? How can it be Saturday? ” It began to sing in: I had never made it to Thomas hearing. I’d blown it for my brother… ‘ saw Thomas, the bag over his head. “Vive got to use the phone,” I said. “Please. Vive got to find out what happened to him… My brother. Did you hear anything? About what happened to him? ” (469-470) Though it was nice that Dominick was worried about his brother, his primary concern would have been the state of his body.

Dominick had received reconstructive surgery on his leg and was stuck with crutches for the next couple of months. This shows that Dominick was too caught up in other people’s problems while neglecting his own. After Thomas had been at Hatch for a while, Dominick received a phone call from Ralph Tidewater, who was now working as a Janitor there. Ralph suggested that Thomas get tested for AIDS. “l want my brother tested for HIVE… ” Face it, Birdies: you were asleep at the wheel. You let them lull you. Cut back your visits, stopped calling to check on him…

And when you did visit, you only half-listened to his horror stories: now teen were polling ml, programming ml, coming Into Nils cell In ten middle of the night… Oh Jesus, don’t let him have HIVE on top of everything else. Don’t let that test be positive. (680) Dominick was right to request a test for his brother. However, the reason that Dominick wanted the test so badly was because he felt morally responsible for Thomas being in Hatch in the first place. Dominick felt that if Thomas got AIDS, it would be his fault. This all stems from Dominion’s inability to forgive himself after missing Thomas’ hearing.