It all started by a stupid, horrifying, and awful thought. I didn’t know how it came to my mind. I didn’t know how I accomplished it. I don’t know how I am still alive. He was my brother, my Johnny. It was dark. I was walking in the street of a town called Frenchtown. The city was in a silence. If you could hear a sound from a rock, you could hear voices from the city too. I didn’t know where to go. Imagine you are holding the murder weapon and you have no idea what to do. A flush light appeared in front of my sight, it was the police. Not enough time to get to my friend’s house so I had to . . . It was December 19, 1920. I was reading my book, it was an  interesting part. The aliens were conquering the Earth, but the sound from the door interrupted me. “God, again!” I said. It was Johnny. “Come on, everybody is waiting for you, what are you doing?” he asked. “I am just reading book. Please leave me, I will join you guys in thirty minutes.” I replied. “Fine, but later, don’t tell me why nobody wants to hang out with you. You are spend all your time reading old fiction books that no one cares about. Man, WW1 just ended, everybody is struggling to make money and you are spending your money on buying dull books,” Johnny said bitterly. “Fine, just leave me. I will come later,” I said in a sassy way. After fifteen minutes, I went to my friend’s house. There was a little party going on. As soon as I entered, I saw Johnny in the middle of everybody and all the people were listening to him. I said hello to everyone, but nobody answered me. This was the third time in this week that they didn’t even notice me in their group. I went to grab some food from the bag of chips, but there was none left for me. I sighed and went toward the group of people who were laughing. Johnny saw me and said, “Hey Adam, come and join us.” “Ok, thanks for letting me be part of your group.” I answered with sarcasm. I knew it from the beginning. Nobody really wants to hangout with me or even spend some time with me. When I entered the group, the laughs stopped and everything became serious. It was always like that. The same routine until the terrible  night where everything went wrong. That night I was sick of Johnny’s heroism. He pretended he was the best and the most kind person in this world, but he did stuff where I  really felt worthless. He thought he was cool guy with his especial personality, but I couldn’t handle that anymore. It was that night that the horrifying idea came to my mind. I had to do it. I was being  bullied, I was feeling alone, I was feeling frustrated because of what people thought about me. I grabbed the gun that I found in the basement of our house! I took it and thought about what I was planning to do. I wanted it. I wanted to see him dead. That was my desire and, nope, I can’t say no to my desire. I ran all the way to his house and I entered the house, but as I entered I was shocked . . . Where is he? I couldn’t find him. Where was he? Instead of going out of the house, I stayed inside and waited for him. It took about 3 hours for him to come back home. It was 2 in the morning. He was 100% drunk. It was the time, I should not waste time anymore. I came out from where I was hiding. “Oh! What’s up Adam?” Johnny slurred. I didn’t even understand half of his words. “I am really sorry Johnny. You were like a brother to me. You always supported me. I didn’t know what to do. I am going insane because of you so I have to finish the work, I have been thinking about tonight.” my voice was full of sorrow. “What do you mean Adam? What is going on with man? Are you ok?” Johnny asked. I didn’t even respond…Unfortunately, one of the neighbors heard a weird noise from Johnny’s house and they reported that to the Police. I had no time. I ran all the way to the train station. It was 4 in the morning, the first train would leave the town in 5. I could buy a ticket from the money I took from Johnny. Let me tell you, the main journey started right after that.  I went all the way to New York because there I would find a ship. I had heard that there are a lot of job opportunities where I can make money and escape the International Police who was looking for me. I stayed in New York for 3 years, but I knew the Police could find me somehow so I was ready for any signal from my friends in New York. It was March 1923 when I started my journey to Europe. During my voyage, I had to change my appearance because, I knew they were looking for me in France. In France, I experienced a new weather that I have never experienced. The hot summer in France was killing me. In order to live in this country and find a way to escape Police, I had to work in a bar. In a very, very quiet bar. During twenty years, I saw different people from different cultures and countries in the bar and I asked them, “How are your countries?” They explained about their countries. They described the places that I can dream about visiting. One day a bunch of airplanes appeared in the sky. “Who are they?” I asked myself right when I saw them. All of the sudden, the big bombs were released from them and the city started to be filled the screams of the bombs. I just felt an explosion and then nothing else. When I woke up, I saw two people around me, I asked what happened to me and what was going on with the airplanes. They didn’t even know about it either.  Later on, when I started walking around, I saw damaged and destroyed buildings. I saw a lot of homeless people.. At about seven in the evening, something caught my attention. I went toward it. I still couldn’t see anything. It was getting darker. A sound was getting closer to me! I entered a house which was full of dust and it was totally destroyed. All of the families pictures were turned into a disastrous pictures! The people on the pictures looked like zombies. I kept walking and could find my way to the bedroom. I could guess by the toys that were there, this was room for the child of the family. There was something interesting though; the sound of whatever I was listening to before, was over. The dust and the remainings of the wall were on the ground. I started lifting them up because I saw a piece of cloth. As I was lifting the wall, I started freaking out. I was wishing that the sound wasn’t coming from the child. I kept lifting, kept lifting, and kept lifting. I was horrified. It was like the world was turning around me. I couldn’t believe that this happened. It was that kid who I was hearing his voice. He was covered in blood. After giving the body to the hospital, I didn’t know what to do. It was all over for me. For a second, I remembered Johnny. That tall , brown eyes and hair of the child made me think of Johnny.  He was athletic and cool. Maybe, I was jealous, maybe, I was stupid. I had to forget all that I can’t think about it anymore. After two days, I found out later, it was because of  WW2. It was the first time that I saw the airplane in the sky. At that time when the airplane attacked, I didn’t know if the planes were just normal ones for training or there were actual bombers from Germany.  I decided to move from France because it wouldn’t be safe anymore. With all of its difficulties, I could make it to Syria. In this country, I saw a totally different culture. The country was less developed, but their people were very warm and they welcomed me. It was 1946 when I arrived to Syria. First, It didn’t go well. It was a time-out for me and the Police because of World War 2. They started their investigation again and that was kind of messed up. During the WW2, all the agencies were working and they were busy finding the spies in their countries. I started working in a shop. It was good until one day when all the whole crew of Police entered the shop. I don’t know how they have founded me. Did someone tell them? I still don’t know.  It was over. I can’t think of it anymore. Why did I kill my best friend Johnny. Any crime has its consequence. The consequence might be right after the crime or even 15 years later. The arrested me. I didn’t talk at all. When I got to the station, they sent me to the jail..  Later on, I found out that I have to stay in jail for about 40 years. My jail was in Syria. It was the court’s decision. I think I deserved it. The first 20 years went quite easy, but after the half of the time that I had to stay in the prison I was frustrated,,I was bored, I was lonely. Again and another stupid idea came to my mind. I wanted to escape. Right when I got the idea, I sat and started thinking about all the stupid decisions that I have made in my life. Whenever I made one, It didn’t go well. I thought about, what would Johnny do in this situation. I thought for moment. If I murdered him because I didn’t like his ideas and the way acted, why would I pretend I am him? It my decision and I would stay up to it. I wanted to escape. I planed to get out of the prisoner and dress like a guard and get out. When I was out, I took whatever money I had or I could borrow to get out of the sight of the guards. When I got to nearest town. I saw a lot of different things that I have never seen before. All of the sudden, I heard something loud. I looked up in the sky and saw airplanes. I told myself, not this time so started running and yelling at people to hide themselves. They all looked at me like I am an stupid or mad person who has just escaped from madhouse. Later on, I found out it was just airplanes who can go really fast and they make a really loud noise. After all of these drama, I wanted to be in a peaceful place where I could be free from the Police and write my life and make it a book. I thought about it and assumed that, Northern Europe would be the best place to go and be free. So I spent all of my money and went all the way to Sweden. I found a really small village. It was cold, but peaceful. I started working as a lumberjack. After about 40 years, I was becoming old. I didn’t have a lot of power to chop down the woods so I decided to write my life and give my unstable life to all of you.  It is year . . . The pen suddenly falls out of his hand. His heart was sleeping for ever. Yes, he was dead, Adam White was dead. After, several days, people found him dead in the snow. When they took him to the doctor, the doctor said that the cause of disease was too much stress and depression. Later on, his diary was published and it sold out really fast that no one could ever believe it. His name was remembered as a murderer, but nobody knew his actual feelings. * * * I entered a new world, everything was white. I just saw Johnny in front of me. I couldn’t see his face. I ran toward him to make him forgive me, but . . . TO BE CONTINUED . . .THE END  .