Along with that Ivan started losing his appetite and strength. And developed an odd queer taste in his mouth. As more time passed the non-stop pain could only mean death. He was now to weak to get up on his own, and his skin looked as if it was being stretched over his weaken muscles. Time for Ivan was now nearing the end, but the suffering only grew stronger. It got so bad that he now screamed in agony that was so loud, that even behind closed doors he was heard. “… ND was so awful that through two closed doors one could not hear it without horror. (Tolstoy 142). Ivan suffered down to his last breath. Death being the only cure for his horrible pains. Physical pain was Just one type of pain he felt. He also had to deal with the emotional pain that came with It. The terminal Illness that Ivan experiences was not just physical pain but emotional pain as well. While the pain grew, so did his Irritable temper. “But It came to pass that this uncomfortable feeling kept increasing, and became not exactly a pain, but a continual sense of weight in his side and irritable temper. ” (Tolstoy 110).
Ivan and his wife began getting n to arguments more often. In fact he started getting troubled by almost anything. “He would notice that some piece of the crockery had been chipped, or that the food was not nice, or that his son put his elbow on the table, or his daughters hair was not arranged as he liked it. And whatever it was, he laid the blame of it on Provably Foddering. ” (Tolstoy 1 11). His wife wasn’t the only one that upset Ivan. Likewise he had developed anger towards the doctors as well. He was furious that the doctors kept telling Ivan he would get better, when he knew in fact that he was dying.
At certain moments, after prolonged suffering, Ivan Lilac, ashamed as he would have been to own It, longed more then anything for someone to feel sorry for him, as for a sick child”(Tolstoy 128). It was like this till his last couple of breaths, when he could Totally Tell Joy gall, Joy Tanat ten guttering was over. Consequently all ten Pensacola and emotional suffering really took a toll on him mentally. As Van’s body becomes physically weak, he is left alone with his troubling mental thoughts. Irritation, annoyance, and confusion are Just a few of the mental walls Ivan creates.
He cannot fathom the idea of someone of his status becoming ill from an everyday incident. “The ache did not grow less; but Ivan Lilac made great efforts to force himself to believe that he was better” (Tolstoy 114). As Van’s condition progresses and his pain increases, he is forced to face the signs before him and consider that he might be dying. As Ivan looks at his situation, he notices that the people who surround him are egotistical and appear to only love and friend him, while he is of use to them. Causing him to rethink if the life he lived was really a good one or not.
Thus causing Ivan to go through even more mental distress. In the final stages of his illness, Ivan begins a conversation with god and or death. As a result he begins listening to the voice in his mind. He starts to realize that he life isn’t what he thought it to be. ” ‘Can it be I have not lived as one thought’ “(Tolstoy 137). And that his status does not excuse him from death nor does it entitle him to a less painful death. “What is it? Can it be true that its death? And an inner voice answered, Yes, it is true’ “(Tolstoy 138).
Once he stops denying and fighting his mind he finally experiences Joy. “So this is it! He suddenly exclaimed aloud. What Joy! ” (Tolstoy 144). Ivan is transformed in the last days of his life by a terminal illness, that put him through a great deal of physical, emotional, and mental suffering. Ivan finally realizes that he wasn’t the best father, husband, and man that he believed he was. And that status, wealth and power, weren’t the most important thing in his life. Therefore allowing him to somewhat be humbled, and bring Joy to himself during the last breaths of his life.